[MUST READ] An old H.O.T fan’s analysis of Peter Pan

Peter Pan: he has… http://fb.me/2e5ssQoEX

Suddenly I miss my old time with TVXQ. Huhuhuhu. And yes it’s true. TVXQ will never been the same as the first time I loved them.

Jadi pengen denger lagunya. I never give the song a really attention. Coz I hate fairytale. Tapi ternyata ada yang bisa bikin terjemahan lg spt itu.

Menterjemahkan lagu jadi sesuatu yang bikin nostalgic. I’ll never hear peterpan as the way I heard it before anymore. I miss TVXQ. Baca lagi articlenya dan suddenly I feel 9 years is a long times. Many things changes. And I also can never been the same me at that time.

When people face the same situation like this, nostalgia they will say times flies really fast. But for me it’s a very long time actually. I never feel that 9 years is a long time before this. I held up my head, hold on my feeling that always miss them back so much. Go live life on. Times really flies fast when I did it. And now I just realizes 9 years is very long.

Masih inget banget gimana excitednya ngelihat TVXQ whatever they did. Nangis sendiri ga bisa nonton konser mereka yang dulu masih di luar negri semua. Jingkrak - jingkrak pas dvd mereka yang baru kubeli dateng.

Makes friend within fandom, do something new, learn many new things, dan juga berantem banyak ma fans TVXQ lain. It’s really something. Ga brasa semua udah lewat. Lama juga ya aq udh jd fans TVXQ. Tapi sekarang semua sudah berubah. Sudah tidak seexcited dulu lagi. Lebih cuek. Lo mo ngapain juga bodo lah. Yang penting bahagia lau.

Intinya kayak pasangan yang udah lama banget bersama. I still remember that I always said I don’t how my life will be if I don’t have TVXQ as my idol. I don’t know. Mungkin sekarang aku kuliah di kedokteran atau psikologi kali bukan di jurusan film jadi editor dan juga mencoba mewujudkan impian nerbitin novel. Or maybe I’ll never have any future dream. Ga tahu mau kemana. Stuck di tempat aja. Doing nothing.

TVXQ is really everything for me. I learn many thing from them. And they make me feel. Sekarang aja benernya aku ga tahu apakah aku bisa seperti dulu lagi. Kalo dulu aku akan ngelakuin apapun yang kurasakan lebih dahulu sebelum mikir. Semua spontan. Impulsive.

Sekarang beda banget. I always think first. All logically. Sampe rasanya dosenku selalu bilang kamu ini seperti ga punya perasaan atau ga bisa ngerasain sih. Doing art is like using all your sense to feel. Tapi aku…

I don’t know. Mungkin luka yang diakibatkan perpisahan TVXQ terlalu dalam dan juga karena faktor luar lainnya, all of them makes me cannot feel.

It feels like I don’t have heart anymore.

I miss TVXQ at the old times. I miss how I was before. Tapi aq juga ga berharap kembali ke masa lalu. Kalo mereka bahagia seperti sekarang ya sudah. I have my own live too. As long as they are happy with their new life, I’m satisfied by it. They are adult now, they don’t need fans to babysit them for every decision they made.

Benernya berulang kali aku pernah pengen melepaskan diri, tapi sadar ga sadar selalu ngikut aja kl ada berita tentang mereka. Dan khawatir setiap kali mereka dapet masalah. Hahaha.. Ya sudahlah. Emang udah mendarah daging susah dilepaskan.

They will always be part of my life. The beautiful part of my life.

Like my fanfic PART of MY LIFE’s quote.

I really want to thanks them to come to my life. Thank for making my life more colorful than before. You’ll always be the best part ever of my life. My turning point, TVXQ.

I ever made promise to them that I’ll never leave them even I’ll be the last fans stand to support them. So this one just I’m taking rest for a while. I’ll still support then no matter what. But…

I will not wait them for comeback because I know they will not comeback as complete. I just hope that their friendship will repair even they are in seperated ways.

I hope at least they can remain as friend even not as group. They used to be very good friends likes brothers. I hope they can learn to forgive each other. *it’s easy to say I know*.

So for now, I leave this neverland. But I’ll be back here whenever I feel I miss them as complete. Meskipun aku sekarang fangirling boyband lain, all of them will never feel the same as TVXQ before. No one can replace TVXQ in my heart. ^^

Lebay yah? Biarkan aq sesekali begini. This is my old self that intergrated with my present self. Haha.