What is depression?
9:53 AM
What is depression? I asked it to my self last night while I'm driving home. I think, it is a feeling of being drown except everything around you are fine. Everyone look fine except you.
That is how I feel lately. Everything seems fine. They are working like usual. But it just something weighting inside my chest. Drowning me. And I don't know what actually caused it. It just feels suffocating me.
I don't know what the reason for me to live on. It made me questioning what the meaning of me continuing this life?
Some people said that we live until today for reason. There must be a reason for us to still alive, but I don't know what is mine. I seems like cannot find it out. I only live day by day like a robot. Morning I awake and go to work. Work until night then go home again. Wait for salary at the end of month. I hate that circle.
If there is something I really want right now is to traveling around the world while writing, but to able doing it I need money which is I don't have it. Then, I need to work my ass again. This is never ending circle of life.
Sometimes I really want to be alone, trying not to care about people around me so much. But later, I think it must be really lonely to be alone. It scared me a bit if I think about it. Then, I'm trapped between this.
If this is life reality, it is surely scary.
I have my reason for being like this. I know.
Life is indeed bittersweet. We have sweet moment and it didn't forget to give us bitter moment along with it.
I'm just confused.
I know, I'm only being sensitive right now.
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